Falling Behind in Technology (and Also My Laundry)

If you’re a working mom who confidently prioritizes career over family, stop reading. And if you’re a working mom who proudly puts family before career, you too may stop here. But if you’re a mom caught somewhere in the messy middle—where you can’t decide whether to finish your GitHub ticket or your kid’s school project—this one’s for you. And also for anyone else who empathizes characters like me, keep reading.

Sometimes, my manager compliments me—calls me meticulous, brilliant, hardworking. I allow myself to glow for a moment, sipping on that praise like it’s a rare cup of hot coffee I didn’t have to microwave three times. But then we walk into a strategy meeting—buzzwords flying around like confetti: AI agents for code reviews! GitHub DevOps migration! Predictive deployments! And suddenly, I feel like someone’s forgotten houseplant—wilting, unwatered, just trying to survive the sprint cycle.

Because here’s the thing: I want to be able to talk techie. I want to learn. I really do. But I don’t have the luxury of time. I don’t even have the luxury of finishing my lunch. My 24-hour day is a juggling act of debugging code, packing school lunches, answering Teams messages, and pretending I didn’t just wear a pj pants over a corporate blouse. Stress clings to me like those perfect yoga pants you refuse to toss—even though they’ve seen more Zoom calls than downward dogs.

We talk a lot about feminism and equal opportunity and yes, it’s important. But can we also talk about the women trying to do everything—raising tiny and sometimes outgrown humans, running households, and still showing up to be high-performing employees with “innovation goals” and “growth trajectories”? 

My annual goals? Oh, just something simple—innovate with AI agents and participate in a hackathon. Meanwhile, my daily wins include figuring out why an abstract validator passes for null with IsEmpty but fails silently with GreaterThan, deciding whether to buy two more footsie pajamas or risk going footless for summer, answering an email justifying why two left joins to the same table should be a federal offense, and crying because I paid $250 for a yoga class I will miss 80% of the time.

If you are that person who sets technology goals for women employees in your team but also have a working partner at home; halt for a moment and think - who exactly do you think is running your house errands, attending your kid’s PTA meetings, filling out endless Google Forms for school spirit week, and also working full-time while you’re off ideating with ChatGPT? That “who” is your partner. That “who” is me. That “who” is every working woman who’s just trying not to drop the baby or the database table.

I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO BE A FULL-TIME EMPLOYEE AND A FULL-TIME MOM.

At this point, I’m just a woman with a calendar and a dream - trying desperately to not fall behind on technology and also laundry.

And yes, I get a little envious watching “Data Science Gal” and “Tech Talk With Tara” with their flawless skins and LinkedIn reels, slick hair and tech tutorials, and no visible signs of acne or spit-up. They’re thriving, they’re technical, they’ve made “the right choices.” And here I am—Googling “quick dinner ideas with two ingredients and zero motivation.”

So next time you’re throwing around words like “feminism,” “equal opportunity,” or “let’s push her to the next level”—maybe just ask her first. Ask if she even has the bandwidth to push herself today. Because deep down, she really does want to innovate. She wants to grow. She wants to be more but she also needs time, she needs energy and motivation. She wants achievable targets that are not ridiculously impossible. She just wants to be not left behind.